Ev'rything's Gonna Be All Right

Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright

So, no woman, no cry
No, no woman, no woman, no cry
Oh, little darling, don't shed no tears
No woman, no cry. 
---Bob Marley


For some reason, this is all I could think about about after I talked to my mom today. She met with her specialist, and it was all good news. If cancer & good news can ever belong in the same sentence, that is. My mom's gonna be alright. I can stop crying myself to sleep at night.


They caught it early. It's stage 1. It's small, about a centimeter and a half. She'll have a lumpectomy, followed by radiation treatments, after she's recovered from the surgery. They'll do more tests including a special dye test and biopsy, which will let us know if it's spread to her lymph nodes. The doctor was really positive and said she'd be surprised if it had. We feel so blessed!


I went to the temple today. I probably shouldn't have gone because I've been pretty sick. It's like my body just fell apart and reacted to all the emotional stress I've been having lately. I brought tissue, cough drops unwrapped & ready to go in in my pocket, along with hand sanitizer, thanks to Ben's coaching. I didn't want to get the little old ladies sick and tried to sit in the back by myself so I wouldn't pass this on to others. I felt so strongly that if I couldn't be with my mom physically when she found out the details, I needed to be in the house of the Lord. The place she taught me to go when I need comfort and peace. I was there for a few hours, and before I left, I felt a strong burning in my heart. I was still nervous, but I knew it was going to be all right. 


And it is. I can talk about it without crying now. Ev'rything's gonna be alright. Ev'rything's gonna be alright.

12 Little Piggies

These little piggies make me SO happy!

Ruby LOVED the pedicure I gave her while the boys were at the Fathers & Sons campout.

10 little piggies dolled up in pink with white flowers. 

Showing off her pedi with Mama's heels.

2 little piggies make my baby look like a little girl.

The boys and Ben couldn't stop telling Ruby how cute she looked after she kept her little pigtails in for more than 2 seconds.

Our PRETTY, PRETTY girl!

Life

Today started out as any normal day, the hustle and bustle of getting 3 kids fed and dressed, 2 ready for school, and 1 mom ready to work out. We drove Kaleb across town to Pima Butte and he whistled the whole way, asking D what tune he was whistling. I should really turn the radio off more. Whistling is something my grandma and I do somewhat subconsciously when we're happy, and it was special to me that we seem to have passed it on to him. I called her and shared the news when I got home.

After working out, dropping Dylan off at preschool, eating a banana and starting the laundry, Ruby wanted to take a shower with me. What Ruby wants, Ruby gets, so in she came.  She loves it when I hold her up high and she opens her mouth filling it up with water. The sound of the shower washing over me, and my baby girl holding me just so tight as we swayed back and forth, was really a moment.  I'm sooooooooo grateful I have a daughter I thought, and just loved our time getting ready for the day together.

Ben seems to be feeling better today. I can see a noticeable difference in the way he's getting around.  He's also not taking his pain medication as frequently. We sat together, just the two of us in the middle of the morning, and talked about how we survived the summer and how ready we are to be closing this chapter of our lives. Giorgia and her mom leave tomorrow, and then it will be just the 5MURDOX again. We're both ready to move on and get back to normal. Whatever that is.

Then after lunch and putting Ruby & Ben down for naps, it was Dylan time. We did homework together, then played games.  Lots of them!  He loves it when we play Candyland and put real candy on the board. Today it was Reese's Pieces.  He accused me of cheating (me?!?), ate any candy that he "accidentally" touched with his blue gingerbread man, and crinkled up his nose when I'd give him mine. He won & ate the pot of the end of the rainbow. He beat me at Chutes & Ladders, too, then decided to give me two big koala hugs & kisses to make me feel better after losing to him two times. After those sweet lovies, I relented and agreed to play MarioKart with him. He's getting lots better!

On my way to pick up Kaleb, I called my mom to tell her the dates of K's fall break so she can come for a visit.  My dad answered so we talked for 20 minutes, Mom was laying down, Dad said. Before we hung up the phone, he said to wait, she wanted to talk to me. Hi, Sary, how's my girl? She didn't sound quite right, but I knew she'd been sleeping. Good, how are you? Not so good. We found out today I have cancer.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."


I've only told Ben so far, and now I guess I've told you, whoever that might be. I can't really talk about it. We don't know how serious it is, but we will know more on Tues. We do know that breast cancer is very survivable, are hopeful that we caught it early and it hasn't spread to her lymph nodes. We are fasting for my mom this Sunday if you'd like to join us.

Never has there ever been a time when I've wanted to live home (meaning Oregon) than now. I feel so useless here. I should be with my mom and I'm not. My brothers are, well boys, my dad is the least sensitive man on earth....love him, but he is, my mom's not telling her mom because she thinks she's one nervous breakdown from losing her, and her sister isn't really talking to either of us right now. I am my mom's only daughter, I am her best friend, and I should be there.  

My heart hurts. 

My Heart is Full!

Ben recently had "attacks" where he was in a lot of pain any time he ate anything. After finally convincing him that he really did need to see a doctor, tests were performed, and we found out he had gall stones. It was recommended that he have his gall bladder removed, to prevent further attacks, or any emergency type surgery.

I was so worried the entire time since we knew the surgery would be taking place. We know a few people who'd had the same surgery and had serious complications. One died. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but you can see why there was a cause for worry. I'm a worrier anyway, and for every successful surgery you hear about, you only really remember the ones that go wrong. Especially when it's your husband, best friend, father of your children, who is going under the knife for the same thing. Right... you can see it's one of my not-so-hidden talents.

The amazing thing was, the closer we got to the surgery, the calmer I felt. I wasn't able to go to the temple the week before, as I had planned, but my friend Alisha put both our names on the prayer roll a few days before.  My other besties hubbies came and gave Ben a priesthood blessing at my request. I just really felt like we needed one. I had a good talk with Sandy the night before, and was reminded while she was talking, of the blessings and covenants I'd made with the Lord in the temple. I knew the power of the priesthood was going to take care of us. I received the comfort and strength I needed before, during, and after the surgery while waiting for 5 hours (it normally takes 1) for Ben to come out of the anesthesia. We left at 5:30 am and felt very fortunate to get home safe and sound by 4 in the afternoon. No complications, smooth sailing, all is well.

Many prayers were answered, and we feel so blessed. I'm so grateful for the peace and comfort the gospel brings. I felt so loved and taken care of through the whole thing. Now it's time for me to take care of my man. Oh, how I love him!

Wordless Wednesday

THE REASON WE HAD KIDS ;)

Ruby's become my little shadow lately and loves to help.  She's started asking/demanding to help.  "Mama, mama, help? MY turn," followed by pushing the bar stool in front of me while I'm doing dishes.  I have a feeling this girl will always get exactly what she wants. She's also started really talking lately. More on that to come. :)

Wordless Wednesday